What Did You Expect

Imagine for a second that you purchased a brand new car. Your dream car for example and you love this car. You washed it regularly put gas in it and kept it shiny and new. The was one catch you forgot to do routine maintenance on the car. You never did oil changes, tune ups or rotate the tires.

Then one day to your shock and amazement it breaks and to make matters worse your upset because the dealer never told you these things need to be done and caused your car to break. The lack of them telling u was unacceptable. So you blame them and demand a refund.

What did you expect to happen ?

It sounds like a silly story when you read it. So let me put it into a different perspective that is not so silly.

You meet someone your dream someone and you love everything about them. You do everything with them and adore the way they make you feel so much so that the equality that is supposed to be shared in the relationship starts to slip and the person who is so dreamy and wonderful becomes tired and taken advantage in cases and decides to leave because they feel taken advantage of.

Which results in statements like:

It is your job to make to me happy.
How dare you let me down.
After all I have done for you.
If you loved me enough you would have waited till I was ready.

What did you expect ?

All too often you may have heard those words. I have heard those words from people and how it ripped through my soul like a hot knife through butter. I have also been told how I failed and let down my partner down or vice verse. That is one reason why relationships can be hard because no one wants that kinda of pressure placed on them. I know didn’t.

That’s ok though because no one is perfect and our faith should NEVER be based off other people nor should our happiness. Those things belong to us and our father. It is in God that we should place those things. Since I started doing this I have been free to live a life of realistic expectations and limited judgement because it is not in my hands it is very freeing. I understand that grasping this concept for some is hard but if it is good enough for Jesus it works for me.

See he knew man would fail him he told Peter “On the night of my crucifixion you will deny me 3 times before the rooster crows.” and so it was true. Judas betrayed Jesus with a kiss to alert his enemies to who he was. Talk about letting u down. They were closest to him he trusted them with his life and they failed him. Yet he forgave them long before they did that. If he can make a choice like that under his circumstances I can choose to not put those expectations on people and be ok with doing it. So I can have a better relationship with people.

What do you choose ?
How would removing some of your expectations for what you want free you today ?
How much of your life have you given up by placing expectations for your life on others ? Why ?

Scripture Review:
John 2:24
Matthew 26

2010
04/23
CATEGORY
goals
inspiration
life
purpose
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Exercising Your Spirit


Sometimes working out is horrible. We have all had those days where going to the gym or going for a run is the last thing you want to do. Yet we push through it because we know the benefits of it and for some exercising is a way of clearing there head and must be done regardless of the situation. Working out is hard it seems so much like extra work which is why

Some of us don’t workout or have any idea about what I described either.

The biggest factor to working out lies in its name “work”. We can all agree we have enough of that to last us a lifetime. So how can more work help? If handling what we have seems to be a struggle in it’s own right.

We need to redefine our thoughts on “work” because the opportunity for growth is the reason we are doing it in the first place. Using the workout analogy why does lifting weights promote muscle growth?

Hint: It is not the weight per say that does it. The real value is the resistance of the weight. It causes your body to react by growing new muscles.

Your spirit works in the same way to grow in it you must realize that challenges will bring that growth. This is just the nature of things.. If you need patience you will be put in situations where it is tested. Want to be more giving? Then your will be put in a position to give to others. The problem lies in how all of this is viewed. It is viewed as work that is hard,frustrating, and just one more thing that needs to be done.

Instead of the blessing that it truly is. Be joyful in the workout of your spirit and your reward will be the gifts that you need to be better to yourself and those around you. The greatest gift of all is our ability to grow and change it is about time to embrace that and to love it versus complain and dread it.

Your challenges are just your workout for your spirit in the gym we call life.

2010
04/13
CATEGORY
business
inspiration
life
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Second Chances

YOUR PRESENT MOMENTS ARE YOU

LIVING YOUR SECOND CHANCES

We all get a second chance actually we get multiple second chances everyday. From the moment you make the mistake your slate is cleaned. Everyones slate gets cleaned on a regular basis for that very reason it tends to become something that quickly loses its value.

What if that changed ? What if you knew you could do it all over again ? What if you knew you could right your wrongs?

You can.

How is that possible.

It starts with the belief that nothing in life changes that life is a constant repeat of actions that happen on a regular basis. The constants of life are everywhere around you. Look at nature a tree is still a tree. The sky will always be the sky. The sun is the sun. The earth is the earth. So if nothing around us ever changes then how are things different.

You are the difference, I am the difference, The people around you are the difference.

It is the changes that we go thru that change the way we interact with our environment thus resulting in our environment changing.

It is the same as saying you will put your pants on the same way your entire life (your constant) however they will not always be the same size (your change).

Here is the million dollar secret if a situation comes along in life that you avoid or don’t know how to handle and make a mistake with it. That is probably not the last time you will ever see that problem there is a good chance it will return. Usually in a different form.That is the reason we have been told for as long as you can remember that we need to learn from our mistakes. In case they show up again we can see them in our present moment and make the changes needed to avoid the repetition we have all at one point faced.

You know what I am talking about how many times have you had the following conversation with yourself?

Why do I always attract jerks and losers ?,Why can’t I catch a break ?,Why doesn’t anyone ever want to hangout with me?, Why do I keep getting passed up for promotion?

The list goes on but how often do those questions go unanswered? Yet for some reason you may have asked yourself similar things more than once. The only way to answer them is to look and listen to yourself during your decision process.

Being in the present moment. It is only when your focus is on what task your dealing with at that time can you notice your process for handling situations and make adjustments thus giving you your much needed and deserved “Second Chance”.

2010
03/24
CATEGORY
life
purpose
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The 4 C’s

Ecclesiastes 7:21-22

Also do not take to heart everything people say,
Lest you hear your servant cursing you.
For many times,also,your own heart has known.
That even you have cursed others.

Patience in life and leadership can be a hard thing to ask for in such a fast past life that we lead. It is like asking a kid to wait to open his brand new “insert hottest item”.

Chances are highly unlikely you will get their attention for more than a few min at any given moment. We typically out grow these types of behaviours as we get older. However that is not always that easy and not all of us do that either.

Life shows up there are deadlines to meet. Demands are thrust upon us. Projects stack against us. Time escapes us. Work ,School, Kids, Sports for Kids,Spouse,Birthdays. Then somewhere along the way some has the nerve to tell us we need to have patience.

Take time to smell the roses.

Time who has that I have too many things to take care of to many people need my attention. I don’t have time to relax. You become judge mental without even realising it.

This may account for why some of us are tired not from working but from the amount of thought that went into all the criticism about work. Yes thinking that stuff made you tired. More tired than you can imagine.

Here is the real problem There is no need to criticise anyone or anything because you are not above their actions if the context of your life was the same or similar. This does not mean you would do the same thing it means “You could do the same if given the exact same set of circumstances.”

How would you like to feel free,clear focused, and like you have results that are tangible? Stop passing judgement on life for a week and process what comes to you and see how you feel. The simple act of judging will remove the desire to gossip out of your system. Here is 20 hours back in your week. It will allow your mind the freedom it needs to do what it does best process stuff,organise,clarify,and be creative.

The other question to consider is what would you think about if you there was not a need to Criticise,Complain,Compare,Compete? All the time. They are valid for situations however sometimes we get lost in them. In the 7 Habits of Highly Successful People Stephen Covey discuss the value of this in great detail.

In review I wanted to get across to you that you lose energy,time,and productivity by focusing on the 4 C’s and could get back all of those and even a few moments to smell the roses if you didn’t.

2010
02/27
CATEGORY
business
communication
direction
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Harry Potter Failed

What happens when a driven and determined woman with no money, no job, and a new baby meets her creativity streak ? Well if your JK Rowling you write what has now turned into one of the most successful series of books the world has ever known. Hello world I am Harry Potter. How does a mother on welfare with no support go from where she was to where she is now. Thoughts like this keep me up at night. I do know one thing she failed a lot along the way and this video gives testament to her failures. It also gives insight to the truth to failure and the gems hidden within it like diamonds or rare jewels imbedded within our earth. Failure is a treasure that must be valued, respected, and utilized.

If you are having trouble viewing the video it can also be seen here

2010
02/06
CATEGORY
inspiration
life
motivation
Speechs
Uncategorized
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Business As Usual

Let’s go do it-Jim Rohn

According to Jim Rohn one of the most powerful statements in the English language is let’s go do it because of its meaning. It means to gather multiple minds for a common goal which once harnessed leads to unlimited potential.

It is the core of all business relationships which are built around a common goal. In order to have a successful business relationship there are also many other factors besides a desire to build something together such as.

Trust- before you run out in the streets screaming let’s go do it you need to know that you can count on your partner to carry their portion of the relationship. See your counting on them to be reliable and too hold up their end of things by doing what they say their going to do. You want success for the both of you and that can only happen if a good level of trust is involved or created. One of the main ingredients to building trust is.

Communication-So you have a good level of trust started once that is established you need an idea of how you are going to discuss things so that you continue to grow and prosper. Trust makes it safe for open communication. It is imperative that you must share information,best practices,changes,ideas,guidelines,response abilities,boundaries. At first this seems like a daunting amount of information both overwhelming and a lot of work ,but if you have a million dollars or a thousand dollars of your own money on the line it is just an after thought.
Also communication in a business relationship is a living part of the relationship it must constantly be adjusted and tweaked. See you don’t live in a vacuum when you have a business relationship your choices and decisions need to be communicated to your partner because if it effects the business your accountable to them.

Accountability-So you can trust your partner,talk to your partner now you need to get results with your partner. Results matter in business at the end of the day good bad or indifferent. You have to be able to account for why things did or did not end up as planned. When you have business partners you are accountable to them as they are to you. You are response able to your share holders and employees. Plus it is your money why wouldn’t you want to have the people involved with it explain there actions ? Since you all impact each other it is part of the partnership that you speak to everything you do that impacts the business.

One of the key things business do is hash out all the topics I touched on above plus many others that I did not cover. Have you ever seen a business contract ? They leave very little to chance, assumption, or misunderstanding. When you write it out though it seems like a lot

But is it ? It is worth the investment in setting a good foundation for how your going to do business when you start partnering and bringing others into your business.
The saying goes

If you love what you do you will never work a day in your life.

The things this article discuss are a framework for setting up a strong business relationship that will ultimately give you the freedom to do what you love.

Before I close let me leave you with one final CONTRAST. If it makes sense to approach a business deal that your investing in with such work,thought, and effort.

Why do we fail to invest in our loving personal relationships with such understanding?

Your feelings are worth more than any money you could generate from a business deal yet we treat them so differently. In this article nothing seemed out of place yet reread it and change business to love and see it with your heart and see if your still comfortable. See if your accepting of some of the ideas.

You are worth just as much as a million dollars or any amount of your own money so make sure you live and appreciate your worth in all your relationships. You owe to yourself and anyone you choose to partner with. Be it business or personal.

Namaste & God Bless

Dominick Stanley

2010
01/20
CATEGORY
business
life
love
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When Did We Forget To Trace ?

Learning to draw is hard. At least for me it is. Understanding shapes and how they relate to one another seemed like a foreign concept. However I eventually learned to get my artist creativity expressed in the simplest of ways.

Tracing. Now I know that is not the same as drawing but it was satisfying none the less. Tracing recently came back into my life in a unique way.

The other day I was sitting with my son and I was teaching him how to trace. For christmas my son had been blessed to receive some of those color explosion books by Crayola. So as I am sitting there with him it hit me that we have lost interest in tracing. and for good reason since it does not have a lot of practical application.

Or does it ?

I have spent the last year or so learning key areas of success and personal development. In learning these on thing is clear their is extensive focus on the behaviors and that if they are done correctly can lead to personal growth and a more fulfilling life.

One of those behaviors is called modeling which simply means to find someone who is doing the thing that you want to do and do exactly what they do. Learn their process and method. In essence copy them.

This is the adult version of “tracing”.

How many times have you become frustrated when trying to learn a new skill ? If your like me I would imagine a lot. Trying to figure out the process knowing the right steps to take and the list goes on. Yet there is someone out there that has to have done this before you and if located could provide you the gift of experience.

Sounds simple huh ? Then why doesn’t it happen more often. I mean logically it seems like a smarter way to work.
My experience tells me that it doesn’t happen because of pride. The idea that if I do something the same way some else does then my idea won’t be original.

Well that is like saying if I trace a picture it won’t be mine. That’s not true it will be yours the structure of the picture may belong to someone else but it still has to be colored in and details added. That will be done by you in only the way that you can.

Same goes for being successful.

Take some time to review something your doing or maybe want to do better.

How much time have you devoted to modeling/tracing behaviors that would help you succeed further than what your vision let’s you see today ?

How hard would it be to find someone achieving in an area you want success ?

I am starting to think the old saying really is true. You learned everything you needed to know in kindergarten.

Until My Next Post

Namaste & God Bless
Dominick Stanley

2010
01/08
CATEGORY
Uncategorized
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You Better Clean That

The other day I was leaving my apartment to go to work and I had an interesting sunrise waiting for me as I walked out the door. I opened my apartment door and much to my surprise found that it had mustard all over it. This was weird. I can understand someone dropping there mustard coming from the grocery store and judging by the splatter pattern that’s what happened. But leaving it. Really who does that ? I don’t know but the first statement out of my mouth was huh I should wipe this off before it stains.

Then it hit me “We have numerous little stains that plague our path to success and we don’t clean them nearly as fast.”

When I look at incident at my apartment I know why I cleaned it up so fast and so do you.

I didn’t want it too leave a stain.

Yet we will allow the stains of doubt,fear of the unknown, and complacency amongst some of the many others to stain our path to success. If our life were coffee tables how many stains would you have ? I know mine would be full of them because I use to allow myself to believe that I lacked the power to instantly settle those emotions and move past them. Like I would wipe a stain that is fresh since it is easier to clean that way. It is easier to deal with my emotions real time while they are fresh than to let them become an ugly mess on my table that clouds my vision.

So how did I get there

Increase the Value Of Mental Clarity-I got tired of collecting a mess in my head because it wastes mental energy and in order to stay sharp I need all the mental energy I could muster. I am no longer wasted by the energy it takes to play those emotions over and over again. Here is a concept sometimes your tired because you think to much about stuff you could have settled had you not been waiting on the right time.

Realized There Is No Right Time-Your life is happening right now even if your waiting on the right time. I do believe there is a time and a place for things however I do not believe there is a perfect time other than NOW. This is the same thing as I want to wait till I am rich to give back or when I have enough money I will have a child. You won’t wake up ever and give more without some catalyst for change no more than you will ever have enough money for a child.  Stop waiting on the right time and start do the right things with your time.

I Got Tired Of Scrubbing-Now that I address the way I feel in situations quickly without emotional buildup I feel lighter. I know that sounds strange but after you try it you will better understand. Now when I have to take action I don’t have as much holding me back or challenging what I am trying to do. This means lest scrubbing stains and more doing what I love.

Emotional Stains Never Leave-If your coffee table or door in my case ever for some reason gather so many stains that they can’t be cleaned or you leave them so long that they can’t be removed. You replace the items. You can’t replace your emotions and their stains won’t ever leave you. So tomorrow will one become today and you will have a lot of cleaning to do when the days catch up to you.

So those are some of the ways I see this whole thing now and it is working. I am constantly keeping an eye on things spot cleaning as needed. As for my door by the time I got to clean it it had stained my door. Good thing it was my door and not my soul.

Until my next posting

Namaste & God Bless

Dominick Stanley

2010
01/03
CATEGORY
communication
direction
goals
inspiration
life
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Welcome 2010

2010 who knew it would arrive so quickly. Along with it comes the time of year when gym memberships sky rocket and hope for most people is renewed. When the lies,disappointments, mistakes,and triumphs of the last year are replaced with the time yet to be used and a vision for a better tommorrow.

This is the normal of course until March or April when the reality of what it takes to carry a goal from the feelings of January to your dream being realized set in.

This year dare to be different by living today and work thru the feeling of wanting to live for tomorrow. It takes a lot of work to go from feeling great about an idea to getting what you would like out of it. Like your favorite television show puts in countless hours behind the scenes crafting the vision of the show that your so attracted to.

If a tv show puts in 80 plus hours a week for 30 min segments that you like.

What do u think it takes to run your life ?

More than feeling that’s for sure.

So let 2010 be more than another year where you wished,should have,would have,or might have.

Start simple and build momentum.

Write Down What You Clearly Want-The universe likes to help people who know what get what they want.(Ever tried going to dinner with some who doesn’t know what they want?)

Be Realistic-You know what you truly will and want do so set yourself up for success by not overreaching otherwise you will fail before u start.(think of trying to sprint a marathon)

Set a Time line-As I once read “A goal without a time limit is just a dream” this keeps you accountable to yourself and let’s you know if your heading in the right direction.

Don’t Stop-In action is the killer of hopes,dreams,and new years resolutions. Closes mouths don’t get feed it requires work. So do your goals.

Get Help-Get help from a mentor either in person or online. Here is a link to one of my many online mentors.

http://www.tonyrobbins.com/holidays/health.html?ec=137412b

I will you this last quote from a person I consider to be a personal mentor as well Jim Rohn.

“The ultimate reason for setting goals is to entice you to become the person it takes to achieve them.”

Who will you become ?

Until My Next Post
Namaste and God Bless.

Dominick Stanley

2010
01/02
CATEGORY
challenge
goals
life
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No One Is Above Reproach

Oh Tiger,Tiger what have you gotten yourself into. Unless you have been under a rock you have heard about Tiger Woods recent news to leave golf indefinitely.

Why ?

Infidelity apparently he decided to dip in the cookie jar. Which is quite a shame actually. He has a life that most could only dream for. A billion dollar athlete,respect,admiration,etc. A beautiful wife makes you wonder what hope us common folks have. Truth is we probably have more than someone in his position would.

So what in the best of situations causes stuff like this ?

In my opinion it would be a lack of respect and appreciation for what he had. He changed his filter.

As I have written about in the past the way you see things is critical to the level of success in that area. From my personal experience I have seen a relationship thru the eyes he would have used to make his decisions. I mean it would be easy for Tiger or anyone to justify their actions if they see the other person lacking in having something.

If your filter is one that sees lacking,a need to improve,a fault and in general the worse parts of your partner. This perspective allows for enough division that you will see the things you miss in other places from people who seem to have them. This is one possible reason.
The other is

His ego told him he was above reproach.

There is a point in some of our lives where we began to get a delusion of who we “think” we are. That we can do what we want and not suffer a consequence. That is so far from the truth you can’t plant seeds that are no good and expect a wonderful crop.

These are easy traps to fall into and just as easy to avoid simply by “choosing” to see your partner thru a positive lens one that points out the very best in them. I am not talking about giving up self-respect or being blinded by love. I simply mean to see them as a benefit a blessing. This message is true for anyone you encounter.

It can all change when you change the way you see it all.

It is an active choice how these things can play out. As for Tiger he has a greater challenge than he has ever known. Put his life back together under the microscope of the public eye. May god help to adjust his filter I am sure he is seeing things differently now.

As for the rest of us we can learn what not to do from these situations. I guess were blessed that if it was us we wouldn’t have to do it under the eyes of the world. So if your struggling or just simply want an improvement in your life.

Change your filter you would be amazed at what you see.

Until My Next Posting
Dominick Stanley

2009
12/19
CATEGORY
life
love
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dominick@wheresmygps.com
Dominick Stanley

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